I’m turning 40 this May and it’s alarming how quickly the last decade of my life went by. I remember before I turned 20 how slowly the years passed. As soon as I turned 30, it felt as if the years shifted into warp speed, flying by so quickly that I can barely remember what happened when. I don’t feel any negativity about entering my 40s. My 30’s were absolutely incredible. They pushes me, they stretched me and they taught me more than any other decade. In my 30s I left my 9-5 job as a Doctor of Physical Therapy directing a clinic in Harlem to becoming a full-time content creator. I had 3 serious relationships including a live in boyfriend. I became a millionaire and decided to move to Miami where I’d live part-time. I bought my first property, a townhouse a few blocks from the ocean. In my 30’s I really came into my own. I learned myself, my triggers and my passions. I grew to love myself inside and out. I took the time to care for my mind and my body cutting out stress and unnecessary negativity. I’m looking forward to my 40s assuming they will also be nothing less than amazing because I’ve set myself up for success. I’m happy for the chance to get older and I’m proud of myself for not compromising my morals and my dignity to get to this point in my life. Although, I still get a rogue comment every now and then that I’m old, aging out of my profession and with no mans, I don’t think any of those things are actually bad things. Some people are just uncomfortable with aging and society has everything to do with that and people buying into that narrative.
Life in the Age of Social Media in the Public Eye
I’m going to let you in on a little secret…I never set out to be in the public eye. I just wanted people to read what I wrote. I wrote for my college newspaper. I started this very blog in 2010 out of my sheer enjoyment of writing and having people read and enjoy my words and be able to connect and resonate through shared experiences. One of the biggest compliments anyone can give me is that they loved my writing, followed closely by complimenting my fragrance or smell. I’m a Taurus after all and we are all about the senses. My blog got bigger and then Instagram was born and I thought it would be a great way to advertise my writing. That slowly morphed into what it is today. But I never set out to be known and I wasn’t prepared to live my life in the public eye. I didn’t want the scrutiny that came with that. Can you wrap your head around 200 people a day telling you what you should wear, how you should look, how you should speak, what hairstyle actually suits you, what work you should get done, what products you should use..every single day of your life.
It’s enough to make even the strongest most self-assured person crack into a million pieces of their former self. It’s what drives some up and coming content creators to want to fade away into obscurity. Social Media is a gift but there’s a dark underside that most people never experience. Those who succeed have to somehow tackle the issue of remaining true to themselves in spite of the criticism, critiques and unsolicited advice. Aging in the public eye is no different. I know I don’t look my age. To some, I probably don’t dress my age either. I don’t have most things that a woman my age in today’s society are supposed to have (a husband & children) and I revel in that. I’m a bit of a rebel, what can I say. I march to the beat of my own drum. I’m now comfortable living my life my way for everyone to see because it provides another narrative of what a woman CAN be and CAN do, even if it’s not the societal norm. I’m happy to be an outlier. I will leave this earth the same way I came in it. I didn’t succumb to the pressures to be perfect, to get veneers, to get my body done, to get botox. No shade… I don’t feel the need to ever augment myself because I am happy with what God gave me and what God gave me, got me here.
How Did I Get Here?
Now, I didn’t get to this place in life on purpose. Did I think at 30 years of age that at 40 I’d be childless and single? No, I didn’t. I like everyone else was sold the dream. That the perfect man would come along and I’d live happily ever after. I’m absolutely sure that if I wanted to be, I could have had children and also married but honestly, I just never met someone that I thought was worth being with long term nor procreating with. My relationships have been marred by cheating spouses and general incompatibility. Not saying that those things put me off but I realized I preferred a more non-stressful lifestyle. I’d much rather be alone than to be stressed in any capacity about a relationship. I became very good at trimming the fat off my life in my 30s and standing firm on my boundaries. As I breezed through my 30s my friends started falling away into 3 categories: married, married with children and single. I know there are great marriages out there and great men out there, but my single girlfriends are just as happy as my friends who are in good marriages.
But the majority of my friends who are married, especially those with children, are going through it. I’ve been told on numerous occasions NOT to have children. But it’s not even that advice that makes me think twice, it’s the fact that I thrive by myself. Maybe that’s selfish but I thoroughly enjoy my own company. I don’t feel the need to always have someone to do things with. I will travel by myself, dine by myself and dance by myself. People mistake being by themselves with being alone and lonely. I’m hardly ever lonely. I have a very full life. I also have the freedom to pick up and do what ever I please. Which to me, is one of the ultimate luxuries in life. I’m not sure if I’d want to disrupt that element of my life especially with everything happening in the world at this time. I’m slowly nearing an age where kids will be off the table for me. Perhaps one day I will get married but I don’t know any more than you do. But I do love children and have quite a bit of them in my life with nephews and nieces that I’m happy I can give back to their parents. The years went by and although I had relationships in my 30s nothing much came from them. Maybe it will be different in my 40s when I can focus more on that aspect of my life and enjoy the business I’ve built for myself.
So What’s Next?
My next act in life will definitely involve writing and fashion but on a different scale. I could be a content creator forever though. I’ve seen fashion influencers in their 50s, 60s hell, even 70s killing it and still being relevant in the global fashion conversation. The same people who followed me 10 years ago are still following me and also aging with me. Thus, I will always have an audience and I know that the work that I do transcends age. It’s more about sharing my life and experiences and those things know no age. So I’m not worried about aging out of full-time content creation or booking jobs. Let’s not forget most women my age have disposable incomes and are looking for the things to invest in whether that’s fashion or travel. In case you thought any different, I want to reiterate that I am the most content that I’ve ever been in my entire life. I feel happy, grateful, fulfilled and excited about what this next decade in life will bring. I still have big dreams and big goals and I plan on achieving every single one. The major lesson my 30s taught me is that I’m living my life for me and not for anyone else. I have to make this the best life ever because it’s the only one I get. So no one other than God and I, gets to have a say in how it should be. Do yourself a favor and tune out the should people in your life. They will have you doubting yourself and thinking that they’ve done life twice, instead of for the first time. If you happen to be older, single and childless just know there can be happiness in that. Don’t let society tell you there’s something wrong with you. The same goes if you’re happiest with a partner and it’s been your lifelong dream to have children. Only YOU know what’s good for you and what a happy life looks like for you. I’m on my way to being 40 and fabulous darlings…and we’re going to celebrate!
xx
Monroe
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Another fantastic read fellow Taurus. This article is very encouraging and relatable. Although I am almost 20 years your senior, I never miss any of your posts because you are very positive and inspiring and you have me thirsting for the next new thing. Congratulations on all your success and all your future blessings that God has in store for you. I often wish I had a sister friend like you growing up in Harlem. Wishing you love, peace, and happiness, whatever that looks like for you. Love you girl ❤️
Beautifully written Monroe … as a 52 year old single , divorced x2, 2 boys 24/32, YOU inspire me ❣️I’ll keep praying for Gods abundant plan for you , I apperciate you sharing all your adventures with us‼️How about that biking channel ? ♀️ ✔️
Author
Thanks so much for reading ❤︎
Empowering
Wow Wow Wow such a beautiful read! Continue to grow and become who you are meant to be. God has you on a path for YOUR life. You are who he wants you to be so that you are ready to receive whatever he has in store for you.
Wow such a beautiful read! Continue to grow and become who you are meant to be. God has you on a path for YOUR life. You are who he wants you to be so that you are ready to receive whatever he has in store for you.
Author
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this! I appreciate you x
OMG! Monroe, I was absolutely enthralled in this blog post. I just want to say that you are such an amazing person. I am a woman who thought I was never gonna have any children but God said otherwise. I had my one and only child at 40. However, I am not married and I am no longer with his father. I am now 53 and still Single with a 13 yr old. It gets hard but my son is my whole world. Thank God his father is very active in his life and we co- parent well. Monroe, I have given up on receiving a husband. But I’m cool with that. I focus on God, my son and myself which keeps me quite busy. You are a PHENOMENAL woman and if you do so happen to receive the man God has equally yoked you with, then so be it. If not, as long as you are happy and fulfilled in your life now it does not matter either way. Dry those tears because you had me crying. Keep moving and being the Oh so Fabulous woman that you are!
Much Love,
Michele ❤️
Monroe it is so wonderful to see a young woman so grounded, wise and inspirational to so many with strong family roots. You have done amazingly well building your career and we have enjoyed the journey. Continue making new milestones and leaving haters behind. Yes we all are aging but you are exemplary of how it should be done.
I agree 100%
Monroe my dear sister in my head, you are living your best life, let no one tell you differently.
Do what you want, when you want. You are 40 and fabulous sis.
You inspire a lot of us, only wishing positive vibes for you. You seem to have a group of good girlfriends in life.
Your attitude is so contagious, I wait every week for you to have a video up.
Manifesting that your numbers go up, you should be at a million.
Keep posting for us❤️
Let the haters hate lol My sister they don’t know you are just getting started. God will increase your territory to show the world all the gifts he has placed in you. That has nothing to do with age. You look like ur in ur late 20s compare to others in these streets. Keep doing you, the others will catch up lol
#Team MS
Ms. Monroe Steele, I love your content. I’m 65 and I always look forward to your videos. Your content is timeless. Keep doing you and let your light shine.
It is amazing to see all the followers that are 50+ on here. Me being a 66 year old, empty nester and grandma you inspire me with your vibrant personality and drive. You are my niece in my head and I am very proud and grateful that you are sharing part of your life with us.
With age comes wisdom and we see that in you blogs. Although I enjoy the content in the videos I am a reader and clearly enjoy your writing. Keep up the great work Monroe. Looking forward to reading your first book of short stories. Peace and blessing .
Melody, this is unreal I have the exact sentiments I’m also a Taurean pretty much the same age and I live me some Monroe, so relatable because she’s mature and smart. Great reading as usual my fellow Taurean keep on doing you. As usual you are such a motivation.
Monroe you have such a beautiful soul inside and out, I’m 73 and love your content because I also love fashion and not afraid of expressing my style
Monroe is the epitome of endurance…she’s a breath of fresh air. I too am old enough to be her mom…at 71yo I too enjoy my own company which give me a chance to delve into Monroe’s videos read her newsletters etc. she keeps me inspired so much so that it is a MUST to keep up with her at all times. This newsletter is quite enlightening an awesome read…God got you Monroe continued blessing young lady
Absolutely loved this read! I am new “over a year to YouTube” and I immediately subscribed to your channel and enjoy all that you bring❣️ I am glad “no shade” that you are comfortable in your own skin”what God has blessed you with is beautiful”. I am 54 this year “now a widow” I so felt what you mentioned about having the ability to move as you please. People ask me will you ever marry again “no” they ask why and my response is “at this stage in my life I want to be selfish for me”. I have 3 grown children “youngest 21” I have a nurturing spirit “took care of grandma before she passed, mom before she passed, husband , raised children” burnt out! I do miss having an international travel companion “but watching you and some of the other beautiful women on your platform I’ve learned that there are ways to travel not totally alone” Blessings upon Blessings in/all that you touch and can’t wait for your next post, Tie
Hi Monroe,
I enjoyed reading this blog. I am 59 yo and I am told often that I don’t look my age and I certainly don’t “dress my age”, whatever that means. My mom made the perfect point about dressing your age. She stated that stores do not have clothes displayed by your age group and that is so true. I am in a happy and healthy relationship and I have one adult child, however, I would be just as happy being single and childless because like you I love being with me. Thank you for this article. You are inspirational and I love, love, love your style and personality.
I love how you live your life unapologetically. I think out of all the fashion girlies I’ve followed you the longest. You’re an inspiration to me although I’m old enough to be your mom, lol. Keep shining bright!
Author
Thank you so much!
I love your Blog! And you think 30’s was fabulous! 40’s is truly liberating in a you sense! At least it was for me!!❤️
Monroe I’ve been a loyal follower for over five years now. I started following you during your Thrifting phase. I watched you build furniture in your New York apartment and search for your Miami apartment. You’re a positive breath of fresh air.
Your energy and light shine brightly from within. Keep shining sis- believe me I’ll keep watching..
I love this post! Right on! I’m 41, had my baby at 40, and continue to do things at my own pace. I never wanted children in my 20’s when all my friends around me were getting pregnant. I chose a different path.
I broke up with a man I thought I would marry at 38 and people said that was risky. Well, I wouldn’t have met this incredible man that is the father of my child if I had settled with that last person. Life is really about living on your own terms.
I’ve set so many goals for myself for this decade and I also plan to achieve every single one of them. I live by life philosophy and it has done me well so far even if no one else “gets it”.
Good for you and keep doing what is best for you and what makes you happy!
What a fantastic article Monroe.
As a fellow May child, I totally get the comfort of being by yourself. At 68, divorced twice, mother of two daughters, I can truly say I now enjoy life, and I enjoy my own company. That’s certainly not to negate the wonderful friendships I have and enjoy, but I understand myself now, and I realize too many people for too long of time takes me out of my centered place. I love people, yet I value quiet time.
As I read this article, I find myself thinking of my soon to be 40 year old youngest. Single, no children, and feeling some kinda way about it. I pray she can come to this beautiful place that you’ve discovered. Contentment is golden.
You’re such an inspiration…even to us senior citizens. LOL
I pray that GOD will bless you exceedingly abundantly beyond what you can ask or think. ♥️
Great article and I love your outlook on life! This article demonstrates that getting to your happiness can look very different for everyone and that’s ok. I’m in the process of rebuilding my life and I can honestly say even at my big ole age you give me hope, you inspire me and I know I can get to my happiness too! Monroe your already a badass now but wait till you hit 40! People ain’t gonna be able to say nothing to you and I love that for you! It’s something about hitting 40 gives you a freedom people don’t understand until they’ve hit it! May you continue to strive and have the greatest success ever in 2024! I’ll be here ready to read the newsletter, watch a YouTube or like a reel!
I wish I could save your Blog on my home page on my phone!
I fully understand and can relate to this read. For some reason 30s is a time of purging for a lot of elevated women because I have done the same. I’m truly grateful I did because after that time of purging, TMH God showed me exactly who I was and am. I can’t tell you how thankful. At that time, I knew who was in ALL of my passions and purpose, but when he revealed my true identity, that was when I was totally blown away. So that Revelation was confirmation for me that I was on the right path. ♀️ I say that to say this, never allow anyone to tell you what you should and shouldn’t do – Just keep going, and do you
Peace ♀️
Thank you, Monroe for sharing parts of your beautiful life with the world. You are an extraordinary and gifted young woman. Whatever God have in store for you you will get it, in his timing. Keep striving, strutting, and sharing your beauty.
What can I say a lady that ‘dances to the beat of her own drum’ and that’s why I follow your content. You are always speaking your truth and it resonates deep. I laughed out loud when you said ‘I know I don’t look my age’ because what is almost 40 suppose to look like, where’s the guide book (there is none) and girl you look fantastic? Thank you for sharing this and letting us know that our happiness is not for other people to dictate but for us to choose in whatever way we please, living life to the fullest.
Very well said! I love that you don’t let anyone dictate your life. Happiness is not the same for everyone. Your positive and vivacious outlook on life is inspiring to say the least. And I love when you go on your rants to let people know it too! LOL
Another good read. 40 is still very young. Time has change 40 is the next 30.
Hi Monroe, I just turned 50 last year and as an aspiring writer and single person without children, and also born in the month of May, your path seems similar to mine. I can so relate to almost everything you have said in this post. I have told friends that I watch your channel not for your fashion, as we don’t sometimes have the same taste, but I watch your channel because you are one of the hardest working people I have known
Oh Monroe! You amaze me every time with your resilience and beautiful outlook on life. I don’t know how I came across your page on IG, but I never looked back years ago and followed you ever since. You are so motivational and hardworking it feels nice to know there are people like you in this world. I find us similar and I look up to you the most in this world of content creation.
No matter what the outcome is in your life, I know you will handle it well as always! I wish you good life and success.
BTW, I’ve been blogging for a few years now and I love fashion! I would love to have lunch with you if I ever meet you one day, so we can talk everything life and fashion, haha.
My name is Barbara Fosu, and I’m not a huge commenter but I check out your lovely posts every time! Can’t wait for more!
Thank you for sharing this wonderful post!
This was such a sweet, transparent and inspiring read. Truly enjoyed reading this.
Being who you are amd comfortable in it is a gift. God being the compass to guide you is all you need. The other noise is just that noise. At 57 no kids and not married I am grateful for the experiences of life.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for learning early on to tune out the unnecessary noise.
Excellent read! Thank you for sharing this with us Queen. I love to see a woman who is “Whole” all
by herself.
When time flies by it is usually because we are enjoying it. So keep enjoying yourself. And keep taking us for the ride. Thank you so much for sharing your journey.
Hi Monroe! I loved this. The insight that your 30s bring is so valuable; it really sets you up to know yourself and what you value. I’m 52 and I have no regrets for remaining single and child-free. Society really does the “husband/children hard sell” to women, and a lot of us take all that on before we get a chance to examine what we really want. Cheers to you for waiting. You may change your mind about things and that’s ok too because it will be fully your choice, not just what’s expected of you!
Monroe your message speaks volumes. I hope women and men will follow your lead and just live their lives on their own terms.
Beautifully stated Monroe. Societal norms and social media have folks thinking they have a right to do your life! That’s bullshit. At 62 married without children I too am an outlier. But here is the real. I am retired childless and happy. My husband has 4 adult daughters so it was no pressure for me to become a parent! Congrats on all your successes both financially and spiritually. It is truly a spiritual journey to march to your own beat. Well done!
Hi Monroe, Oh how I enjoyed this post! As a mother of 4 ages ranging from 11-25 I can say that in my very humble opinion your outlook on motherhood/parenthood is so very responsible and intentional which is how I feel it should be. Girl, continue focusing on your goals, travel your heart out and continue to enjoy your friends,freedom and the financial fruits of your labor. I am so very proud of you and look forward to watching your brand continue to blossom!
From a very loyal fan who literally never posts anything, lol.
The way you take pride in not sacrificing your morality and dignity to reach this point in your life is a powerful reminder of the importance of authenticity. Comments about age and social expectations seem to be getting away from you, and it’s clear that you’re happy to embrace the natural aging process. I wish you an amazing journey into your 40s! Your story is not just a personal triumph, but an inspiration for others to prioritize self-love, resilience, and the pursuit of one’s true passions.
Beautifully written Monroe. I am happy that this type of content and discussions are happening, to show the array of ways to find peace and happiness in life.
After all, those should be the unique points of focus in a human being life, alongside finding purpose.
Thank you once again for your vulnerability, I am sure it would resonate and help many, starting with myself.
I enjoyed this, as I enter year 2 of my 40’s it makes me assess all the things in my life and my happiness. It’s nice to read someone at peace with their life when entering to the 40 genre and not living through woulda, coulda, shoulda.
Sis, it’s been a while since I slowed down to read your blog and I’m happy I read this one.
You have always been and will continue to be an inspiration no matter your relationship status! We all know that relationships are hard and you are right to not compromise! The right man for you will be right there when the time is right. It’s often not our plan but God’s plan!
After being single for over 10 years, being in a relationship is even more challenging now than when I was younger and no matter how sweet it may appear on the outside, I have yet to meet a couple who aren’t or haven’t gone through it! Having a partner should never determine your happiness! That starts with you! Love you sis! You Rock!
Very good read! Being comfortable in your iwn skin and with the decisions you’ve made for yourself. Some people are unable to be one with themselves. Keep up the great articles and continue to walk your own path without being pressured by society.
Monroe, I feel like I learn so much from each of your posts and your perspective on life is highly contagious! I don’t think I’ve come across an influencer who appreciates what they have as much as you… it’s always the next thing, the next big house, the next wedding, the next whatever. Thank you so much for being you and sharing your journey with us. It means more than you will ever know.
Thank you for writing this- as a single woman in my 50s without children (and a Taurus mind you), I pride myself on being a quiet rebel and I am grateful for how my life has unfolded. Even though the path hasn’t always been easy and my choices do not have a precedent in my own family, I am loving the woman I’m becoming more and more with each passing day. Continued blessings on your path and don’t let Groupthink get you down!
Enjoyed every word and I commend you sis! Welcome to the 40s club! It’s real good and easy on this side!! Enjoy the ride!! I am a forever Monroe fan/follower!!
Thank you for sharing this!!! I am so thankful for your “voice” out here encouraging all of us singles as we get older. Thank you for your example of just living your life and enjoying it! It is very encouraging!!!! I pray that the Lord continues to bless you!!!
Wonderful and inspirational, I happen to be happily married with children. Kids in my 20’s married in my 40’s then adopted a baby as I’m about to turn 50. No one ever knows where life is going to take them. Being happily along for the journey that God takes us on is the key.
I can absolutely see your Joy.
This is my first time reading a blog written by you. You made me think. You made me cry. You made me laugh. You touched me.
I’m 53 and I look forward to your weekly YouTube vlogs. Thanks for doing it your way and not succumbing to all of the noise.
Side note: I wonder if God is gonna flip the script and bring a deserving husband and children into your life, now that you fully overstand and accecpt that you can live a full and happy life being single and childless.
Beautifully written Monroe. My story is so similar to yours; I will be turning 39 this year; no husband, no children. It hasn’t been easy with the many questions and advices I get on a daily; but I’ve made up my mind to live my life and not worry about the what-ifs. I too wished for the husband and children but it hasn’t happened for me. I can’t live my life being depressed cos it hasn’t happened. I take care of myself, have fun and try not to be stressed. What’s meant to be will definitely be. Love u
I love this so much! As a 50 year-old childless and single woman, I too am happy to be an outlier. Keep inspiring us all!
Hi Monroe,
I am 60 years old and have been following you on all platforms for years. You have taken me on vacations, shopping, dinners, fashion shows, yachts, shared your friends and family, shared your homes/decor, and so so much more. I have learned so much and enjoyed every moment. Your writing is so inviting and I did order your magazine which I will keep and cherish forever. Keep living the wonderful life God has blessed you with and thank you for being you and not changing and always sharing with us. You are a Strong Force and I love you!
Hello Monroe, I absolutely loved this blog post keep being you my dear. You are such a lovely person❤️
Monroe you are so inspiring. I’m in my 60’s and each decade got better and better for me, and the best thing it had nothing to do with how much of anything I had. It had everything to do with getting to know myself better, and gaining wisdom. I’m a wife, mother, grandmother, sister, friend, aunt and on and on, but MY boundaries are important in everyone of those relationships. No frivolous drama or negativity allowed, well only my grandchildren. They are still learning, and I’m happy to guide and teach. Your so ahead of the game cutting out those that bring negativity in your life. We gotta be ruthless about that!
I really enjoyed this read – thank you so much for posting! I am 53,single & childless and happy! I spend my money on international travel and do not mind being the ‘fun auntie’. Society wants to make us feel that if we aren’t in a relationship or have children that we can’t be fulfilled- don’t fall for that ladies- by living your life and being in your truth you can find true happiness and peace at any stage of life
Hi Monroe,
Another great blog post, thank you for your transparency. I am much older and believe you should shut out the people that do not believe in you or your dreams. Life is too short and meant to be lived. Keep growing, moving forward, and allowing to follow your journey.
Hello Beloved and Welcome Back!
Oh how this read resonates but I vowed to not give a dissertation this week. You’ll find as you continue to mature, you will grow away from those things you saw or desired as ideal in your younger days. Age is a number, our experiences shape, form and teach us. Everything isn’t for everybody. And let’s just say this body is bodying, the skin is skinning and it ain’t giving forty but it’s def giving fabulous! We love BLOGs and VLOGs! In my unsolicited opinion. Is that a Gen X thing? (cackles)
Well said my good and faithful servant, at best you did deliver a fest, if not a festival. I will be 70, on my celestial earth strong and don’t feel a Day over 50, true that we are only here at a blink of an eye. Please enjoy this given moment and don’t sweat the small stuff, once again what a wonderful testimony, stay bless.
What an incredible post, enjoyed reading every bit of it. I’m happily married almost 15 years with no kids and people still ask me when we’re having kids. It’s so nice to stay true to yourself vs listening to others on how they think you should live. I hope we are all brave to live as we choose!
Congratulations Monroe on all your success at almost 40 yrs, unmarried and childless. We all deserve happiness at any stage of our lives. I am 47 yrs and you truly inspire me to grab my happiness forcibly because I know I deserve it. I have been a single mom all my life, had a failed marriage that lasted only a year and raised 3 children (2 adults) who are still sucking the life out of me. Most days I wish I’m an ostrich that can hide my head in the sand. Your content is very infectious, learning about fashion and designer that I never knew existed. So, I do feel I have been living under a rock, but when life is living and your consumed by the needs of your children life tends to just pass you by. Saying all that to say this – count your blessings when you can, so what if your not living by society standards at the end of the day your happiness is all that matters. Keep on doing what your doing because you are an amazing inspiration to me. Thanks a bunch!
I love this article, even though my life is far from the same as yours, I really like the narrative you’re telling us about. Plus, you really look like you’re genuinely happy and I love that for you. Thank you for your article!
Such a great Read Monroe, The transparency in this post is heart felt. One thing about you that we can all learn is that everything you do is with a solid foundation and I truly do believe that whoever enters your life in the future is someone align what God’s timing. What ever you decide in life we support and root for you ! I have a strong feeling that something beautiful and full of love will be manifested for you after this post ! Have a wonderful Fashion Month ahead !
Hi Monroe,
Another enjoyable blog. Thank you for your transparency. I am much older than you but do agree that you should close the door on those that do no support your dreams, motivate, or encourage you. Continue to thrive, grow, and allowing us to follow your journey.
Monroe, I especially enjoyed reading this blog post as it resonated with me. As someone who married later in life, I applaud your ability to live your best life on your own terms! It’s the only way to live. You’re able to relate to all audiences and as you mentioned we’re going to continue to follow you for all the best in fashion and lifestyle content. You ROCK!
Love your writing, love your fashion videos on Youtube (my favorite influencer!) love your homestyle, love your attitude, you inspire me to be me, to dress how I feel and enjoy life to the fullest at 73 and I thank you for that Monroe!
Captivating read!
Wishing you the best in 2024.
You are quickly becoming my favorite wordsmith. I am 55 and will be 56 in May on the 13th. I have never been married nor had any children. I am happy and know myself well. I wouldn’t mind having a husband life partner but it is not an end all to my happiness if that doesn’t happen. So I totally feel you. I am going to be spending January 25-28 in Miami. I hope you will be in town and I get to see you at a mall or biking. You are one person I would love to sit and have a great conversation with over brunch.
Until next time,
Smile!
~Carlon (Ciecie)
This was so beautiful. I am a senior and I learned a lot about you from this article. I watch and enjoy you weekly. I wish the absolute best for you. Your life is so full. Loving yourself is so important and has helped you reach your success. It can take a lifetime to figure out. I am extremely proud of you and I look forward to more of your vlogs. I so enjoy them. Keep climbing.
Hello Monroe, This was so beautiful. I am a senior and I learned a lot about you from this article. I watch and enjoy you weekly. I wish the absolute best for you. Your life is so full. Loving yourself is so important and has helped you reach your success. It can take a lifetime to figure out. I am extremely proud of you and I look forward to more of your vlogs. I so enjoy them. Keep climbing.
This is a very encouraging article! There were so many good things you said but my favorite was “Do yourself a favor and tune out the SHOULD people in your life.” I’m starting to realize more and more that I am important and what want matters. Thank you Monroe for being open and honest and allowing your truths to set others free! Love you and as long as you’re gonna create that’s how long I’ll be watching! Keep being you and Keep being great!
Fantastic blog! Loved reading every word and love that you love your life 🙂 I think you are so inspirational and aspirational for many young women discovering that life can be lived on our own terms and don’t have to follow a “traditional” script. I’m married but I loved being single and having the freedom to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted without answering to anyone. That really resonated with me and I’m happy for you recognizing, acknowledging and appreciating the beauty in that freedom. Keep doing you because You are just incredible!
Firstly, congratulations on all your accomplishments, and those yet to be realized. You’re one, if not the most authentic person on these platforms, which, in an industry that’s geared towards designing an “image,” it’s greatly appreciated, respected, refreshing, and admired, not to mention, hugely inspiring.
As I read your blog, I’m reminded of all the wonderfully integral gems that my mother bestowed on me and my siblings, that to this day, instinctively directs our paths, it’s in that cemented foundation from where our resilience is grounded, and Monroe, you’re the epitome of having had said type of an upbringing, nurtured in self love/acceptance, encouraged to embody a stellar work ethic, professionalism, be eager to learn, have faith, a sense of moral, exude humility, gratitude, honesty, compassion, kindness, thoughtfulness, positivity, amongst many more, all beautifully, and lovingly demonstrated by your Queen of a mother, for in her strength, peace, courage, and tenacity, your character was formed, blossomed into the extraordinary woman, that you are today, with dignity, integrity, joy, light and hopeful optimism, thank you as per usual for such candor, it awakens one’s passion and purpose. God bless ❤️✨
I’m loving your posts. This was a really good read. Very reflective and I can totally relate.
Girl if you think your 30s flew by wait till you hit 40! I feel like it was just yesterday that I was spending my 40th birthday doing a 10 day solo trip to Barcelona…now look at me on the cusp on 50…still childless…single and fly as eff living the good life. I thought that my 30s would bring the package because I had Ivy League masters degree, good job and long term relationship. Then it just became the solo dolo life…Growing up my grandmother always said that settling is for dregs and not humans…so I never settled just so I could have the kid and brim over with feelings of resentment towards the husband who wasn’t husbanding…Like you, I am never lonely because I actually have always enjoyed my own company. Contrary to society’s belief I am not bitter…I don’t hate men and and not afraid of commitment…I just don’t have time for the nonsense and if the stars align and there is someone making their way to me then so be it
(but truth be told, I also need to stop moonlighting as furniture and go out because as my mother says that someone won’t meet me in my house…lol). Wishing you love and light as you get ready to hit the Fabulous Forties…❤
This was such a great post! I’m in so much admiration for you because watching you live your life so boldly and authentically is an inspiration to me.
Congratulations for all you’ve done and thank you for sharing your journey with us because your content definitely brightens my mood.
You give me hope Monroe and I pray that you will continue to be yourself with all the courage and fun energy you bring.
Cheers to your upcoming 40! Make it as memorable as always
Absolutely enjoyed reading this post. So excited to witness your blossoming into this new decade, its a new era! Here for it girlfriend!
It’m much older than you and your influence has opened wide fashion doors I didn’t plan. Sometimes your purpose for the moment is bigger than a child and marriage. Loving on yourself is a path least traveled. I’m happy to witness your success. The grass is never greener on the other side. Marriage and raising a child are sometimes bumps in the road like any path. Enjoy your freedom to discover you. What God has for you will be there unavoidably waiting in the right season of your life.
I’m at a big age and life has taught me a few lessons. That dream that women are conditioned to believe is false.!No man or child can make you happy. Your happiness is up to you and you only! I was married. I was also a single parent. Life is full of surprises, good and bad. I just want you to know that there are so many women ( and maybe men ) who you inspire. You’ve come so far! And btw 40 is the new 30❤️❤️ Kick a$$ girl ! God Bless ❤️
Girl just keep doing what you’re doing cuz it’s working ❤️ And the way , 40 is the new 30!
Goals! You’re amazing and I’m wishing you all the best and more as you hit this next milestone!
Well Done!!! I celebrate you.
Monroe, you did that!!! I appreciate all the hard work you do! You are a beast at what you do. You have inspired me so much that at 65 I am thinking of starting my own channel. Of all the YouTubers I watch, I watch your channel every Wednesday and Sunday. My family visits every Sunday and as soon as they leave, I go straight to your channel, grab something to eat or drink, and sit back, relax and enjoy all of your hard work. Thank you for all you do. I pray God bless you real good. My daughter will turn 40 in June and I’m super proud of her too!! Keep doing what you are doing. It’s working for you.
THANK YOU for sharing this and for living life on your own terms. It’s really inspiring and reassuring. I’m 45, single (divorced) and child-free. I used to think I “failed” at life (based on the “should”ers). But the FREEDOM I have to put myself first, focus on my dreams/goals, travel, eat out and try new things is underrated. I’m starting to love it here. I hope your 40s bring you even more of the happiness you deserve.
Even at my big age, (58), you inspire me in several aspects of life. I too am unmarried and childless (well kind of, I’m like a mother to my youngest goddaughter). Continue to do what you do and all will fall into place. Love to see a fellow NC girlie succeed!!
Monroe,
You’re so fine and have so much to offer. I hope this is not offensive. I want you to find your person. You will bloom in other ways that selfishly, I want to see for you. You’ll also enrich the life of your very lucky partner. But, I do know how you feel. I am very independent. Married my husband at 40 and never yearned for children. I do think our lives could be richer socially with kids but, then again, maybe not. I’ll take and accept what we have and be grateful. Life truly has twist and turns. You are prepared for all of it and it’s fulfilling and beautiful to watch. Rooting for you from the sidelines.
Monroe you are quite correct…. you were born to write !!! I am so glad I found you last year on YouTube, by sheer accident, but how wonderful that turned out to be. I am no Fashionista, but how all your vlogs have brought such fun, entertainment and wanting more!! And now with to your newsletter…..well we are truly being spoilt.
The inspiration that you give is exceptional and I hope that more people get an opportunity to read your posts and watch your vlogs. Stay true to your goals and how you choose to live your life. It is, after all, yours to live. If only more people would just live and let live. I am so proud of you and all your achievements and long may it continue!! YOU truly deserve it.
Bless you Monroe x x x
Thank you so much Monroe. I applaud you for standing in your truth. In my early forties mom of two and i have realized i love me at any age. There is freedom in being me and knowing that i am enough.
Hey Monroe!! I’m part of the YT gang. I came here to support the blog. I’m 43, married with 2 kiddos. Please know that YOU ARE NOT MISSING OUT. What’s for you will be yours. You are inspiring in every way. Keep being you…you are enough.
This is an insightful and introspective article. It’s as though you were journaling your thoughts while encouraging yourself that you are on the right path, yet giving gratitude for the life you’ve built. I like that you demonstrated that focusing on what you do not have is not productive and it lacks gratitude for what you have gained. Unapologetic, humble, assured, confident in where you are and where you are going. You are a beautiful and grounded young woman.
I absolutely loved this blog-post Monroe! I’ve been a supporter for several years now, and your content just keeps getting better! You’re such an inspiration and I hope to be fortunate enough to meet you one day ❤️
I just love your videos and content! Always so professional
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this after you mentioned it on YouTube. People will always have something to say and you are clearly living a full life. I was a young mother and judged harshly. I was even more determined through having a child to reach my goals. Once I got the degrees and soared in a highly respected profession their tone changed as if I needed their validation. My wonderful Son is also a graduate and that was the path I steered him into from 2 years old. You know the question I’m asked regularly ‘When am I getting married or settling down’. As if all my accomplishments as a Mother and woman pale in significance. I’ve turned down/ended a couple of relationships because some men feel insecure by my independence and success. I will never dim my shine and continue to travel the world living my fabulous life. My future partner will arrive in God’s timing. Do you Monroe x
Monroe 🙂
I am a new subscriber to your channel. I found you via other youtuber’s i adore, ( Jenee Naylor). I just moved to Miami from NYC during the pandemic and worked in the fashion scene but felt quite lost with my style with there being no seasons down here haha. I feel as though I manifested you as an expander for myself. I appreciate your authenticity, your style and how gracious you are with your energy. I am in my early 30’s and recently married but I do not want to have children. I appreciate your candor about the subject and your honesty further validates my reasoning. I think you are awesome, keep doing you and marching to the beat of your own drum. It is what makes you stand out from the basic crowd that everyone wants to be in. Love you, and I hope to run across you in Miami one day :). I will stay tuned to your channel 🙂
I also wanted to mention that I had NO idea that you were approaching 40! You are an enigma you def look 23, you have good genes and you know yourself well as you style yourself in flattering ways. You are doing EVERYTHING right, you are ageless!
Much love. This was heartfelt and I connected with it on almost every level. Have a blessed 2024 to you and all of us.
Monroe I have been watching you for a long time. I was a PT back in the day and left the field to purse HR. I just wanted to thank you for sharing and being vunerable. I’m 67 and truly inspired by your style, confidence and your ability to enjoy life. Please continue to look forward and live your life with gratitude and joy. Life is funny, women were always told to follow a certain path and I, for one am so glad you are happy, healthy and enjoying your best life. Just a thought, you need to write a book about your experiences as content creator on your on terms, you are an excellent writer. Trim the fat of negativity and hush that committee talking that crazy talk! LOL!
I will be 47 in April, am single, never married, and childfree by choice. I relate to this so much…“ I realized I preferred a more non-stressful lifestyle. I’d much rather be alone than to be stressed in any capacity about a relationship.”
I made this decision in my 20s and never looked back. The joy of moving to my own beat and traveling whenever I want fits me best.
Thanks for another great Blog. I am so happy I found you again and subscribed on YouTube.
Thank you for your transparency and sharing your journey. Life is ever encompassing, vibrant, wonderful and exuberant. However, it’s also hard, complicated, adverse and complex. Nobody’s book will be the same and the storyline can change with each chapter. I believe your story resonates with a lot women. History and society has pushed the narrative that women are supposed to want marriage and children. So much so, it’s almost uncomfortable for people when you express anything contradictory to that notion.
Your are an amazing, accomplished and talented woman. Your life is full and you’re happy; that’s all that matters.
Well said Monroe!!! I’m 42 and not married and no children. I do desire marriage. I’m able to have children and follow up with doctor often. Like you, I don’t want children with just anyone. God may not desire for me to have children. I believe my future husband is out there. I know plenty of married couples who don’t have children because neither partner wanted children. Some married couples simply can’t have children. Im not sure why in 2024 people still have this belief that all women and men desire marriage, children, dog, and picket fence. People use to ask me why I don’t have children. I would respond they are expensive. One lady actually told me yeah but you will find a way to take care of them. I just shook my head thinking why would I want to bring a child into the world without proper planning if I can help it. I have eight nephews and one niece. I will enjoy them for now . Kudos to you for knowing the lifestyle you want and sticking to it. Lol overlook grammatical errors. I’m just replying here as I watch your YouTube video lol.
Beautiful post Monroe.
Well, I don’t normally comment here, but today I felt I should just to say…girl, you’re living your best life and that’s what matters. If you’re happy inside, then you’re on the right journey no matter what society dictates. One thing I’ve noticed after following and watching your videos is that you work hard for what you have acquired, and as a young black female in today’s world with standards set so high for us, it means you’re successful. So beware haters will hate, they will judge, discredit, belittle, and simply envy. I say keep doing what makes you happy but most importantly keep God close by your side. Reach for the stars, you have only one life to live so leave a legacy. Marriage, children, and whatever else seems to be the status quo for living was not meant for us all. I’ve recently turned 53, single, no kids, no husband, somewhat successful in my career of recognition and awards count, but still can’t figure out how I ended single at this age, but I can say I’m thankful and most of the time feel happy inside. I love positivity, nature, and quiet moments. I follow some fashion, traveled abroad (an all time favorite- Paris), decorate every season, read, swim during warm months, enjoy bike riding (but haven’t in a while), and yet I see you doing all these things and more, so I know you’re happy deep inside. Stay that way, and have no regrets. You’re talented, unique and one of a kind. Inspiring others of how to discover their inner self is what you do best sharing your life and videos. I, give you full credit, for trying out many products and discovering my all time favorites, so thank you Monroe! You’re touching lives as if you already had it all! Great work, girl, you look fabulous, you’re successful, and my goodness you’re blessed. Keep living…so others may, too! Xoxo
Well said!
I love your life..your authenticity…your realness.
You are a Bronx/NYer girl come true.
KEEP GOING!
I loved loved loved reading this! Thank you for sharing. I am
living my single fashion life through you. Enjoy your you time. When I decided to stop looking for a good man and just love on me I found one. Things happen when they are suppose to but keeping doing what you are doing. You are an inspiration❤️.
Loved reading this. I thought I’d never be married and I knew I didn’t want kids so I really thought I’d never find a husband. I had a few “serious” relationships that didn’t amount to anything but I thoroughly enjoyed being single with no kids! All of my friends were getting married and having children but I didn’t care. I traveled all the time and shopped like crazy! I had and still have an awesome job as a registered nurse so I was making good money and did just about anything I wanted to do. I was called selfish for not wanting kids but I think it’s selfish to have kids knowing you really don’t want kids. I LOVE children, just didn’t want my own. I have many nieces and nephews as well as two Goddaughters. I’m good! I didn’t get married until my early 40s. I’m 50 now. My husband has grown children which is fine because I would not have married anyone with little kids. We enjoy ourselves traveling and doing what we want. Your life is YOUR life. Live it however you want. Your life is fabulous!! I’m glad you’re happy and content. If you do decide to marry later and want children, if you can’t have them naturally you can always adopt. There are so many kids in foster care who need a good home. I love that you put your most personal things here and not on YouTube. This was a great read!
I loved your story. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and being vulnerable. What I admire is you living life on your terms & agreements. Blocking out the noise of what you “should or shouldn’t” be doing with your earthly time. I got put onto you while getting my hair done, my stylist had you on in her suite last year. Working from home, I decided to check you out starting from the beginning to now. The growth is beautiful and admirable. Im 38 and I personally love it here honey lol we will be FINE and 40 ok! Lol keep living life on your terms and enjoy all that God had given you and will give you!✨️
Hi Monroe!
I normally commit every so often. But wanted to comment
On how God is working in your life. I just watched Peyton Charles speak of herself and her new boo. She also said she felt just like you on finding love. And I am thinking she is is a little older and she does have a beautiful daughter. But know God has that special person for you. That he is creating just for you. You so beautiful just keep that up and he who finds a wife finds a good thing and you are definitely a good one and he will find you. Prayers for you my beautiful sister/ friend. Keep inspiring ❤️
Hello Monroe
This was so healing to read. Thank you for pouring. Yes we older women look at you and we are so proud of you We see our younger selves in you. And that’s why we make sure our younger women know who you are !!! Keep shining your light and continued success
As mentioned by several others, thank you for this post. I had my son six weeks prior to my 43rd birthday. I can’t tell you how many ignorant comments I endured regarding my “childless lifestyle “. I wasn’t the girlie type who fantasized of her dream wedding; however, I eventually married at 36 and had a child at 43. Now 55, I love my son, but I would have felt just as fulfilled either way. God has an individualized plan for us all. Follow your path
Thank you for being so real, honest, and authentic. You are truly gifted with words! I can relate to every word regarding societal expectations. Family can also play a role in asking personal questions regarding your relationship status. However, with age I have learned to lean into what feels right for me and pray for guidance along the journey.
Wishing the very best for you and your future endeavors in this next chapter!
This is a vulnerable post and all I can say is BRAVO. At 45, I know I have a good life made more so by the boundaries I’ve created. Like you nothing is more important than my peace. As a fellow Taurean I was drawn to the movie Under The Tuscan Sun years ago thinking it would be a cute movie about life in Italy and it was transformative. The premise of the movie is that oftentimes we’re living our wildest dreams just not the way we planned. Keep doing you.
Thank you so much for your honesty and the boldness to share. This was extremely touching.
I wish when I turned 40 there had been more support and upliftment for feeling exactly the way you expressed. At times I felt embarrassed to express this as my truth because so many people didn’t understand. I’m so happy women are now comfortable talking about and sharing their thoughts in favor of this path. This message was right on time for someone who really needed to hear it and it brings me joy to know that.
We must live our lives in a manner that brings us joy and happiness and need not worrying about subscribing to who society tells us we need to be. I’m so over social constructs and the patriarchy trying to tell me what to do. I’m done with it and am happy to see so many people who feel free to express themselves and live as they choose to live and be happy how they choose to be happy.
Thank you Monroe for continuing to be an inspiration for all ages.
Hi Monroe as soon as you mentioned this in your I had to come check it because this is right up my alley, I’m 43 lives in the Grenadines whose is in the Caribbean and I’m not married and I can’t have kids because, I had fibroids so I had a hysterectomy well not a full one but, it’s crazy cause I’m a catholic and I love teaching the kids at church and always tell myself I will have kids, but god have other plans for my life cause I’m here single for the past 7 years loving myself and just living my life, thank you for this it’s telling me girl just live your life so what if u are not married kids , life still goes and I’m very happy humble and content. contbeing u and and who u are. Love You
This was such a good read. The vulnerability in pouring out your reality, brings out a beauty and inspiration that’s felt throughout this blog. I am a mom of two young adult daughters, divorced but thankful they have a great relationship with their dad.
You have worked very hard to get to where you are today. Do not compromise your life or your happiness for someone who is not compatible or unfit to parent.
Your future is bright, and if that includes being a parent, you will be blessed. Women should design the life they desire and not conform to societal norms.
Be happy. Be at peace. Keep those videos and, write ups going.
Be blessed! Be Fashionable!!
Well Monroe as a 75 year old widow I can truly say you inspire me. I have been following you for two years now and look forward to your videos. I love that you are
Living your best life. I moved from Chicago to Durham 6 years ago to marry my high school sweet heart but he passed away 3 weeks before we were to be married . I been married and single neither defines you only you and God can direct your life . I have been blessed with a daughter and son. 6
Grandsons 1 granddaughter 1 great granddaughter and great grandson. I live in Chapel Hill hundred of miles from my
Family and I love it. I still live a busy and full life. Keep reaching for the stars and keep that positive attitude. My
Motto is ‘live until you die’
M
All by
Married
This is a vulnerable post and all I can say is BRAVO. At 45, I know I have a good life made more so by the boundaries I’ve created. Like you nothing is more important than my peace. As a fellow Taurean I was drawn to the movie Under The Tuscan Sun years ago thinking it would be a cute movie about life in Italy and it was transformative. The premise of the movie is that oftentimes we’re living our wildest dreams just not the way we planned. Keep doing you.
Bravo and well said. As a woman closer to 60 than 50, as a RN I have always been an advocate for health and wellness. Women are beautiful in all stages of life and I embrace aging because I don’t have a choice so I am going to protect my temple and do the best with God gave me. As I peak into your YouTube window, you appear to have a lovely life and you definitely present as a beautiful human being. I know your family is proud of you but most importantly, you are proud of YOU. Your virtual cousins and aunts will continue to support you because you present with positivity, self love and humbleness and you ooze a genuine spirit. No matter what you choose to do next in life, please continue to encourage others to be their best self, it’s your gift.
Monroe, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this absolutely incredible read. So many times, more than I’m able to keep track of, I’ve heard the inside and outside voices asking how come I’m not married or in a relationship and have no children?
I’m older than you are and like you, I’m happy with my life. I’m 57 years young and by God’s grace, 58 will find me feeling just as blessed this year.
Some people find it hard to digest that a woman can feel fulfilled in her life without the societal norms as she ages, with grace I might add. I have watched your videos for years. I have shared in your triumphs and achievements. I’m so PROUD of you, proud of all of us women who march to our own beat.
Thank you for being such a wonderful inspiration in my life. You keep right on doing your thing hun. God’s light is shining brightly on you so just know that we, your loyal sisters and aunties are always sending love and blessings to our “Shining Star”.
Monroe, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this absolutely incredible read and sharing your truth. So many times, more than I’m able to keep track of, I’ve heard the inside and outside voices asking how come I’m not married or in a relationship and have no children?
I’m older than you are and like you, I’m happy with my life. I’m 57 years young and by God’s grace, 58 will find me feeling just as blessed this year.
Some people find it hard to digest that a woman can feel fulfilled in her life without the societal norms as she ages, with grace I might add. I have watched your videos for years. I have shared in your triumphs and achievements. I’m so PROUD of you, proud of all of us women who march to our own beat.
Thank you for being such a wonderful inspiration in my life. You keep right on doing your thing hun. God’s light is shining brightly on you so just know that we, your loyal sisters and aunties are always sending love and blessings to our “Shining Star”.
I’m a divorced mother of 1 and I wish more women would have the courage to say that they are not sure if they want children or to be married. A lot of my old classmates that are still married are not happy. The ones that think they are happy have cheating husbands it’s only a matter of time before they find out, so they won’t be happy for long. I’m a cancer survivor and one thing I know for sure is that you have to live your life to the fullest! There aren’t any do overs!!! Thanks to you, I am trying to learn my way around social media so I can start a Blog! Keep up the Good Work and Love will find you!!
Hi Monroe
What a wonderful and inspiring post. As the mother of two adult children, I tell them not to rush into getting married or having children and enjoy their time being single and free. I let them know that they will not be pressured by me to get married or have children, I think there are other things more important than getting married and having children. They don’t have to do the same thing that I did or their father did. I will be 50 this year, your post has given me inspiration for travel and doing things differently.
You write so beautifully and insirationally!
Loved this! I’ll be 28 this year and I couldn’t agree with you more Monroe! I look up to you as a big sister and I’m SO glad you’re back writing – blogs are SOO back because of you lol I’ll be the first to say it! & Wherever your creative journey goes I’ll be here to support
What a great piece! I love how open and honest about your life.
As someone who’s in their mid 40s and living life, Beautifully written
Happy Sunday! I was never that girl who wanted children. There were brief periods when I considered motherhood, but I quickly realized I was following the lead of some man I was dating who desired to raise a family. I’m blessed that my parents never tried to guilt me into having children. In fact, they were quite the opposite. My Mom strongly encouraged me to live my best life, however I defined it. And I remember a very candid conversation with my Dad about me not having children, and it was very validating. I told him I was afraid that if I didn’t have kids, I would grow old alone. His quick response was, “If that’s your motivation for having kids, then don’t!” He reminded me that kids don’t always take care of their parents, and he even cited real life examples LOL!
That conversation with my Dad was when I had just turned 40. I’m now 57. My only concern in not having kids was that I would reach this big age (as Tashira calls it) and have regrets. Well I’m here, and with zero regret! I’m fulfilled and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. 11 years ago I adopted a dog, a Pekingese named Bentley. Then 10 years ago I adopted a Toy Poidle named Bailey. And then 9 years ago I adopted a Yorkie named Sasha. Best decision ever! My fur babies have comforted me through layoffs, through depression, and through the loss of both my parents. Being the parent of a human child isn’t for everyone. I highly recommend becoming a pet parent.
Xoxo ~Sonya
I am a fan of you. Just writing to let you know. I am in the same similar position. But I doesn’t make that bother me. Because I got life note. That is the greatest. Please keep me in your heart. Love to watch your videos and blog.
This was truly a great read as it’s transparent and real. There is truly lots of should of’s in life trying to place women I’m boxes when there is no one size fits all narrative. It’s good that you choose you and understand your self. Being child free and single does not make you or break you. And vice versa with regards to parenthood and marriage. Whatever you want as an individual, just openly and honestly reflect on the why so you can stand comfortably in what you decide.
I had given up on having childres and then boom, in my late 30s, it happened. Can’t imagine my life without my child. If it’s God’s will, it will happen.
Hi Monroe,
I love this conversation and find myself feeling this way even at 27. I actually read this when you first posted it, but wanted to really formulate my thoughts. As women I feel like we are so seamlessly and unconciosuly, socialized into this gender structure without even realizing it and how it may not align with our own true thoughts for how we want to go through life. I feel so validated by your thoughts, experiences, and vulnerability so truly thank you for this. Your words truly make me so excited to see another Black woman so comfortable, content, and with such drive doing what she loves and doing it her way even when she needs to invest in her self care. You truly are an inspiration and one of my motivators to keep trying my hand at fashion writing & content sharing in any capacity I can do with my full time work and when I go back for my masters.
I have never been afraid of aging, and honestly always say I can’t wait to see beautiful silver blending into my coils as I age! But what I am weary of is sitting with regret of not betting on myself. Allowing my doubts to cloud my passion, and being content with not being more bold, unapologetic, and carefree. And just left angry at the what could or what ifs. Getting close to my 30s has made me realize this even more, and I deciding this year it’s all about betting on me and doing what I promised myself.
Thank you for you doing you and being your own drummer in life. I want to continue believing that I can be that for myself in my truest form too!
I truly appreciate this post and normalizing being almost 40, child-free and unmarried. I am in the same boat and have, at times, struggled with feeling like what I have and who I am is not enough. But I am truly happy with the life that I’ve built for myself. I’m surrounded with great family and friends, and have a career that I love.