The Time: 7:50 PM May 15th, 2017
The Place: In an Uber headed to Ysabel in Los Angeles, California for my 33rd birthday dinner
We were in an Uber with a driver from Brooklyn or the Bronx, I don’t remember but I do remember the music playing. There were no words just a steady stream of beats. I instantly knew this was this guys mixed tape and I was willing Jen to stop humming to it because I knew the conversation it would conjure up. Sure nuff, when he sees her bobbing her head and humming the catchy tune, he chimes in letting us know he’s a producer who’s worked with such and such in New York and blah blah blah. She engaged in conversation while I disengaged into snapchat selfies. (Yes, I’m back on snapchat after a 4 month hiatus…Monroesteele). Not too long after we pull up to a very unassuming building just as evening turned to night. It was hard to believe that this place was actually a highly regarded restaurant but Tosha and my line sister Chelsea (both LA residents) vouched for it so after taking a few flicks outside the venue Jen and I made our way inside where my line sister Chelsea waited. The ambience was extra candle lit and lovely.
Now I may have to back it up and rewind it to when I purchased this little black dress a week before my trip to California. I knew I needed a sexy yet classy birthday dress to go with my bomb Marco de Vincenzo birthday pumps and this dress from The Line by K was perfect. I actually love all the dresses from The Line by K. They are all sexy without being overtly so and fit me like a glove. This silky number was no exception. I only wish Karla would make this shit in Yellow! Any who, needless to say, I was looking like a snack. My fro was extra poppin and I smelled like love wrapped in B. Balenciaga perfume with a hint of coconut on my curls. I spent a great deal of time on my face too and I must say…I was looking RIGHT (sorry it was my birthday and this is not a time to be humble).
Back to Ysabel.
We sit and order drinks. We chat, while waiting for Tosha. Then I feel it. You know that feeling when someones eyes are burning a hole in your spirit? So I look up and at the next table there is a guy, although he’s covered in shadow, I can see his eyes…STARING and his pearly white teeth smiling. He was staring quite weird like and of course my first reaction was to very quickly and dramatically (cause I’m just dramatic anyway) look away and to my friend Chelsea. She then informs me that the guy is still staring. So then Jen looks and then I look again. Yes, he’s still staring and Yes, it’s then that I realize it’s ASAP Rocky. So after all this staring, I decide to say what I always say when I catch men staring but refusing to say anything. “If you are gonna stare, you might as well say something“. He then apologizes profusely before telling me that I’m very pretty and beautiful and that he’s sorry. We all laugh and go back to what we were doing. Jen is in my ear telling me we should get pictures and he should buy us drinks and I should tell him it’s my birthday. But I have no intentions of doing any of those things. He actually got up and left although all the other people at his table remained.
And that was that, my Hollywood experience. Or so I thought.
After dinner as we sat just chatting, he returned to his table. His party got up to leave for good and on their way out he comes over to me right hand extended. We shake hands. He apologized for staring at me “creepily” (his words not mine lol). I accepted his apology and his compliments on my beauty. He wished us a good night, but not before blessing me: “God bless you.” A line I’ve only ever heard in Harlem where I reside. That got my attention. He also has really perfect chocolate skin and I’m sure if he ever took his plaits out that his braid out would be GLORIOUS. He’s really handsome. ASAP Rocky made my birthday pop severely. But more than that he confirmed what I’ve always known. He Love’s Bad Bitches, that’s his fucking problem.
This man has touched Rihanna. He has kissed the lips of Chanel Iman.
I shall have NO CHILL all summer 2017.