Sometime’s you just have to put on your most prized skirt that makes you feel confident and walk down the street in all your glory. Clothes have a way of making a statement even if you don’t feel the way you look inside. I recently went through the 5 Stages of a break up, which are exactly the same as the 5 stages of grief but with more alcohol and Netflix. I wasn’t eating. I wasn’t sleeping and generally feeling like shit salad. (I did however get my Summer body back via #TheBreakUpDiet). After a few weeks I’m just starting to feel like myself again after breaking a spending freeze and splurging on a bunch of new shoes, dresses, accessories and a trip to Miami next month for my birthday. Apparently, Visa has resumed the role of boyfriend in my life. In all fairness though I did buy a lot of things on sale. None the less there is nothing more daunting than being in your early 30s and thinking you’ve met the love of your life after dating 10+ years in a city of crazy people, and then thrust quite abruptly back into singledom. Thank goodness for Ungaro Skirts, red wine and best girlfriends who advised me not to ever join Tinder.
Photography by Mike Crew
Capulet Off the Shoulder Leotard via Shopbop | Vanessa Mooney Velvet Choker | Tibi Fringe Sandals via The Real Real | Vintage Ungaro Skirt via Ebay
GET THE LOOK
You will be seeing a lot of this choker and this leotard because I’m quite obsessed with both of them. I’ve never considered wearing chokers until recently and I’m glad I tried the trend. It makes me feel dominant yet submissive. They are total opposites but it definitely makes me feel a little more mysterious and intriguing. It’s just a choker, I know, but it gives me a super power, which is confidence and sexiness. And that’s something you can never have enough of. There’s one thing I’ve always done after a breakup and that’s dress up. If a month ago, I’d left the house looking the way I felt, I would have repelled the human race and probably ended up hanging out with the family of rats that live in the tulips in Jackie Robinson Park. Dressing up gave me a little extra oomph when all I wanted to do was crawl under the sheets and live on a diet of red wine and Mr. Goodbar’s. (Sidenote, I totally did that but I left the house looking amazing to buy my red wine and Mr. Goodbars.) It also helps that I bought new jersey sheets and memory foam pillows to cradle me to sleep.
There’s that saying, fake it till you make it. Well ladies and gents, I am making it. I am feeling the way this skirt looks (wild and fun and imperfect but still awesome). Breakups are really freaking hard and during them you can feel like its the worst thing ever. It’s easy to get bogged down in the thoughts that you weren’t some how good enough or easy enough or just enough. But one thing I know is that we, us women, all of us, have enough in us to nourish the world, let alone one man. The main thing that helps me get through it is that I’ve been here before. On terms that were inconceivable in the way that I was disrespected and I was able to get over that and move on. So I know with time, more red wine and my new Christian Louboutin’s to strut down the street in, I will get over this one too and look damn good while doing it.
those shoes are amazing! I’m sorry you’ve gone through a rough time but you’re a strong and amazing woman; you’ll meet the guy but don’t NEED him! You got this <3
Que Sera Sahra
Thanks Sahra, I miss you girl. I’m glad to see you’re doing so well
You look fabulous. I think I might have to get that choker. I have been following your blog for sometime and I just want to say that I appreciate how real you are, your voice really does come through in your posts. Keep looking fab and in due season you will find that great love.
Thank you for reading, I appreciate it and thank you for your kind words.