I’ve wrote about hair earlier this year and how it can affect life as an entrepreneur especially natural hair in corporate America. You can read all about it here if you missed it. Last year, I started wearing wigs. It was a slow process. I was always weary of them looking fake and wondering what people would think. But the more and more I scrolled social media and hung out with friends who swore by wigs and the freedom of being able to quickly change your look, I wanted in. I started slow. I wore natural afro looking clip-in’s from Big Chop Hair to thicken my afro after I took a rest from wearing my signature Havana Twists to grow out my natural hair. I can’t tell you how many people message me after seeing an old Youtube Video saying my afro is gorgeous and I should wear it out more, not  knowing that also wasn’t my hair LOL. I then started buying wigs here and there, mostly from beauty supply stores on 125th Street in Harlem and from Amazon. I also got this wig as a gift from Big Chop Hair. It’s the Charlie wig that I’m wearing here. After that I was hooked! I also love rocking my Marley Hair Pony Tail too. The more I changed my hair, the more criticism I received and not from who I’d expect it from either but from other Black Women. There’d be a comment on my YouTube or on a photo on Instagram that goes a little something like this: I miss your Afro. I wish you’d wear your natural hair more. Where is your afro? I prefer your natural hair. You’d look prettier with XYZ hair. This wig makes you look old. Never wear this wig again. Why do you always cover your hair?

These comments only ever come from other Black Women and it happens so frequently that I lamented over it on Instagram when I posted photos of myself in two new wigs: Sue and Kerri. I’ve never been concerned with someone’s hair enough to ask about it. Except perhaps to compliment it or ask where they got it done. I think there’s this world of people who have never worn wigs and they think all wig wearers are hiding some secret underneath. Most of my friends and family who wear wigs have hair down their backs. Hell my own hair is shoulder length. I couldn’t figure out for the life of me, why so many women were so concerned with my hair. I got a little clarification in the comments of that post. It’s a sense of entitlement. That a person deserves a reason as to why you aren’t wearing your hair the way they would like. I wanted to understand why so many women felt they had a right to tell me what to do with my body and how they prefer I look. I mean, we as women hate when men say shit like this to women, but then turn around and do the same thing to other women. It’s hypocrisy at it’s finest.

A FEW OF MY FAVORITE HAIR STYLES

GET THE LOOK

Faux Fur Stole | Frankie Shop Overized Boyfriend Blazer belted | Thrifted Skirt | Jimmy Choo Love 100 Pumps | Jessica Mcclintock (OLD) | Dianna Broussard Earrings


I love my natural hair. I wear it out quite a bit. To protect it I wear a lot of protective styles, like my Havana Twists and yes wigs. I flat twists my hair and pop on whatever wig I see fit for the day. Sometimes, I cover my hair with an elaborate head wrap. I do what I want with my hair and I don’t give a damn what anyone else prefers. My hair belongs to me just like my thoughts and the rest of my body. Sometimes, I like a break from the hard work that natural hair is. It takes tender love and care to nurture and maintain it. It ain’t for the faint of heart. It takes years to find the right products and the right routines to keep a beautiful head of natural hair. It’s a process that those who have never been natural will ever fully grasp or understand. And I know, because I’ve only been natural the last 4 or so years. No shade to anyone who’s not natural. I completely get it and what you do with your hair is none of my business. I wish everyone could grasp that concept. Either way, I love the convenience of a wig. The ability to change a look in a matter of minutes. The power of being able to keep my natural hair protected and nourished with every wig or style I choose wear. Wigs are easy and they’re fun. Perhaps the next time the small minority of you who feel you have access to my hair or anyone else’s, you think before you type. There are a variety of reasons why people wear wigs or protective hairstyles and none of those reasons are any of your business.

xx

Monroe

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16 Comments

  1. Bridgette
    December 6, 2019 / 9:18 am

    Hi Monroe,
    I love your content including this blog post at hair. I recently discovered wigs myself. I was natural for a long time, and wore locs for 14 years before I combed them out almost 2 years ago. After being loced for so long I had to rediscover my natural hair and learn how to take care of it. The great thing is we now have so much more products, access to tutorials about taking care of our natural hair. I’ve since found a wig that I enjoy and I rock it all the time while protecting my natural hair underneath. It has been a time saver, and great protection for my hair.

    I love all the different looks you rock!

  2. Leslie
    December 6, 2019 / 9:44 am

    HeyMonroe! Just know that the comments, especially the negative ones, are never just about hair or you! You look amazing no matter the style, shape, or texture!

  3. ROBERTA MIMS
    December 6, 2019 / 10:51 am

    AMEN! Here are some of the reasons I follow you: Your AUTHENTICITY – INDIVIDUALITY – VERSATILITY- FREE SPIRIT and most of all CONFIDENCE. Keep doing you!!!

  4. December 6, 2019 / 10:57 am

    I think the hair is a convenient tool, but the issues are, I think, are freedom and confidence. Freedom to change one’s look and the confidence to do so. I think these are also the reasons corporate America has so much to say about why black women change their hair so often. Look at the issue with Gabrielle Union recently. We’ve been assimilating for so long, when someone does not, both sides want to put you back in your box. Shame.

    P.S. The curly wig is my fave. I am looking into for myself. I’m locked, but I still want to some off days.

  5. Egc150
    December 6, 2019 / 12:08 pm

    Speak on it !!! Imagine the comments when you are the THE only WOC in the office . When I decided to straighten and curl my hair recently , I got comments like “ is it yours @ .. but it looks so long and thick . Mind you I’ve been natural for at least 10 years and they’ve seen everything from bald spots from perm to the big chop to wigs , twa , braids, twists and twist outs, I even have one lady who likes to tell others ( who compliment me) whether my style is all mine or not !!!!! And sometimes she’s wrong due to the Magic of our hair.
    Do I ask anyone if their teeth are all original or if those are their homegrown breasts , etc !????? No!! I don’t because it’s NONE of my Business.
    Great post !!! Keep doing you .
    Longtime OG Subbie❤️

  6. December 6, 2019 / 12:49 pm

    I love the wig and the play of colors of your outfit.

  7. Faith
    December 6, 2019 / 3:01 pm

    Yasssss! Love this post. I love that you experiment with your hairstyles. Inspires me to do the same!

  8. Malika Pitts
    December 6, 2019 / 4:18 pm

    Now why on earth do we want to spend time on these negative hens who always find mean things to say?
    They could never do what you do! It is such sad commentary when our women bash each other. We definitely should be sticking together in these strange times. You are an intelligent influencer, who maintains your tact, presentation and professionalism, quite well!
    I absolutely love your style! Keep shining, Queen Sister!

  9. Melissa
    December 6, 2019 / 6:31 pm

    Unfortunately, some folks project THEIR OWN INSECURITIES onto other people. And, sadly, it’s usually women against women. Our former First Lady addressed this topic while on her book tour. I hate that this is “our” focus when “we” have so many other issues that impact “us” in a negative way. If we could just redirect that energy to solve real problems, that’d be great!
    Love ALL of the different looks and styles! xoxo

  10. Chanelle
    December 6, 2019 / 9:04 pm

    Good on you for speaking up.its a form of bullying. Hair is like make up..try all kinds of styles. My favorite saying is ” what you think of me is None of my Buisness “.You’re doing a tremendous job..keep up the great job!

  11. Lavette McGill
    December 6, 2019 / 9:20 pm

    Excellent read you are so my daughter lol❤❤❤ love you❣❣

  12. April Lynn
    December 6, 2019 / 11:27 pm

    OMG I guess the more followers you have, the more HATERS you have as well…DAMN!!!
    Why can’t it be just like changing your purse or coat or shoes?? Hair has become an accessory and you can change them as often as you do your, guess what accessories!! I remember going natural back in January of 1999!! BLACK women talked about me like a dog…while our white counterparts LOVED IT!
    PLEASE BLACK WOMEN LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP AND MIND YA BUSINESS!!!

  13. Lesliediana
    December 7, 2019 / 7:47 am

    When are WOC going to stop coming for other women. When Gabby Douglas was personifying Olympic gold, all the WOC’s felt the need to talk about her nappy kitchen. Really ladies! And, unfortunately, the pettiness encompasses all aspects. Hair, clothes, you coming into a space where they were the only one, being successful etc. The blancs/blanches don’t have to do much to divide us and keep us down because we do it to ourselves. Applause to you for being classily correct and addressing this issue to all the twisted sistahs. Hope some of them take a second think before they comment.

  14. Wendy Arsad
    December 8, 2019 / 9:06 pm

    I love you diversity! If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing and keep it to yourself!

  15. Jacqueline semiens
    December 9, 2019 / 11:42 am

    Hello Monroe!
    As long as you live, you will “NEVER” please people. Whether it is your hair, their hair or no hair. You just be you. You have the monopoly on being you.
    Let me share this with you. I once worked at a company where I was one of two black people and the other person was male. I wore the Halle Berry cut and it was mad maintenance. My hair started thinning badly in the top so on my 40th B’day weekend I ask my hairstylist daughter to shave my head to which she replied no. So I left her shop went to a barber who only asked how I wanted the back shaped and 15 minutes later, I looked in the mirror and saw myself, FULLY. Needless to say the “folks” at work were stunned. They stared, they whispered. I did not care. I held my bald head up high. I still dressed to the nines E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y, beat my face within an inch of my life, AND wore fabulous big earrings. I have been bald every since. No one has ownership of us. Critics own one thing, their opinions. We own our own beauty and style. Work it Girl!

  16. Wendi Williams
    December 12, 2019 / 1:37 am

    Bravo!!! Dope read. Love your style and all of your hair styles. It’s your prerogative to do what you wanna do (quoting Bobby B lol). I am in corporate America and I Rock my hair how I want (shaved, wigs of all colors, styles and textures), and who gone check me boo! Love you Monroe! I’m so glad I found your you tube!

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