I’m happy being single. Honestly, if I really wanted a boyfriend I wouldn’t have any problem finding one but the holidays can definitely make being single just a tad bit…well…depressing. Over Thanksgiving Holiday I was home in North Carolina with my family and spent a few days with my brother, his wife and their 1 year old daughter, my niece Bria. Did you see her on Instagram? Ain’t she cute especially in this photo when she was just a tiny thing. But I digress. I love being around my brother and his wife. They are literally the funniest people. They say the craziest things to each other and just have so much fun being together. Sometimes I think to myself, WOW how awesome is their relationship! Then almost instantaneously the thought of me dying alone surrounded by designer shoes enters my mind and just as quickly as it comes, it dissipates. I think maybe one day I’d like to get married. Maybe even have a kid or two (but definitely no more than two). But if it never happens, I’d be A-Okay with that as well. You see, in the past I was a serial monogamist. 3 years here, 1 year there, 8 months around the corner was the norm for me in relationships. I always put all my eggs in one basket hoping for the best. I don’t do that anymore. In fact, I do a lot dating sometimes at the same time. But my last serious relationship, which lasted about a year, taught me that holidays with a significant other can be just as regular as a holiday alone.
Photography by Rose Lazard || Editing by Monroe Steele
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[one_half padding=”0 15px 0 0″]Now before you jump down my throat, allow me to explain. I’m going to tell you a little story. My birthday was coming up and I wanted nothing more than to have a lovely dinner with my then beau at Hillstone, my favorite restaurant in the city. Nothing too fancy, just a nice dinner. I’d even bought a really cute dress that I was dying to wear. The reservations were made and I was ready to enjoy a nice birthday. A day before, my boyfriend called to ask what he should wear. I told him the restaurant was fairly basic, I’d seen people in there with jeans but it was my birthday so I’d be in a nice dress and he could wear what ever he wanted. He proceeded to ask me about what he should wear several times over the next few hours and I sensed that he was having an issue picking out something to wear. So I gave him a few options from things I knew he had in his closet. He was an excellent dresser and had lots of business wear clothing for his job. My big day roles around and I’m dumb excited and he just wasn’t. He lagged and lagged all day long.[/one_half][one_half_last padding=”0 0 0 15px”]He postponed earlier plans and was generally acting like a whiny baby all day. Finally, in frustration, he admitted that he doesn’t want to go mere hours before the reservation. I was disappointed but I shrunk myself and just went along with what he wanted to do. Want to know how I spent my birthday? At a Mexican restaurant eating lackluster tacos, followed by a movie with my boyfriend a bunch of his guy friends. A movie so bland I don’t even remember what the fuck it was. Mind you he left half way through to accept a work phone call and didn’t return until the movie was nearly over. That taught me a really good lesson. Don’t wait for anyone to make the moves you want to make or to do the things you want to do. Even if the person holding you back is your spouse or someone you love. Of course this was just reason #99 for me to ditch him and proceed to live my best life. But my God if he hasn’t given me years worth of excellent content! Praise Be.[/one_half_last]
Being single does not equate to being lonely. Luckily, I have a ton of single friends in the city ready and willing to participate in any kind of debauchery I plan on a Friday, Saturday or even Sunday night (I know, I’m a little rebel). Look on the bright side, if you are single for the Holidays, you will inevitably save more money because you’re not buying a spouse an expensive gift. Yay, more designer shoes for you! And really we all want what we don’t have. That friend of yours that’s married with a kid wishes she could sleep till noon without being bothered, the same way you may think it’s cool to have a doting husband the way she does. Just live your life. Manifest like no tomorrow and avoid F*ckboys at all costs. Who knows, this time next year you could be falling asleep before midnight in a pair of corny matching PJ’s with your fiancé. Or if you’re anything like me, on a beach in Tulum dancing around a fire pit with a mojito in one hand and your arm around your best friend. But please…don’t spend it eating lackluster tacos — Nobody deserves that.