It’s been a while since I wrote about something that wasn’t a trend report and honestly I’ve missed it but I’ve been uninspired when it comes to the written word. But there are private conversations I’ve been having lately with my friends that leads me to believe we are all experiencing an awakening when it comes to what we will and won’t tolerate in life. I’m not sure if it was being in lockdown in the house for months on end in 2020 with no one but myself and my thoughts to keep me company but something in me definitely shifted in 2020. I’ve reached levels of unfuckwitable that I never thought I could reach. I no longer allow too many things to rub me the wrong way or get under my skin. I’ve made my sanity and my peace a priority above anything else in this world. Here are my 7 tips for remaining being Unbothered in 2021 when it comes to social media.
Don’t take anything personally and I mean anything, no matter who it is coming from. Being on a public platform like Instagram & Youtube has opened me up to a world of peoples opinions, unsolicited advice and critiques. Never in life has a human being had to withstand such criticism until the birth of social media. You could actually go through life not worried about what a complete stranger thought about you life choices, the way you decorate, your hairstyle etc. I no longer take anything personally unless it affects my money, my family or my safety. Either or will get you fucked up. I’m still a little rough around the edges. But what I know for sure is that we can’t control people, or their thoughts so why bother. Just dust it off and keep it moving. The only opinion that matters is your own.
Use The Block Button. I’ve blocked many people on all platforms since I’ve been on social media. If someone is brazen enough to leave a rude comment, they will surely do it again, so I never give people the chance. My spaces on the internet are places of harmony, entertainment and peace and I quickly stifle out any disruptions of that. I don’t subject myself to it or those who are viewing my content for the right reasons. I don’t regret or feel bad about it either. Remember my sanity and my peace comes first. If I think to myself would this person say this to my face if we were to meet in real life, and the answer is a resounding NO, I block them immediately. I’ve even had people reach out to me after being blocked and request that I unblock them. Clearly, some people don’t understand boundaries and that brings us to my next point.
State Your Boundaries Clearly and Concisely. Leave Nothing to Assume.
In real life when someone does something that I don’t like, I immediately address that issue. I don’t wait. I don’t sit around and stew in it and wonder if I should bring it up. I don’t think about the consequences of confrontation. I clearly let that person know that this is a boundary and this is how I prefer to be treated in such a situation. For example, I was dating a guy who after a few weeks of dating, stood me up or rather forgot that he was supposed to confirm plans with me. I waited around for a few hours before calling him and expressing my disappointment with his lack of respecting my time. Wasting my time is a boundary. He quickly apologized and never again did he stand me up or not confirm solid plans. The same thing goes for social media. People don’t know how to treat you until you let them know. I don’t allow certain things to be up for discussion on my social media. I don’t allow people to talk about or even ask about where I live. That’s a boundary. I don’t allow people to talk about or ask about my significant other (when I have one), that is a boundary. I don’t let people project their fears on me, that’s a hard boundary. It sounds like: don’t move to Miami Covid is rampant there. Don’t go to the beach alone. Are you being safe? Comments like that seem like they are coming from a place of concern when really that person is just projecting fear onto you. I don’t allow that and let people know NOT to do that to protect my mental well being. I also understand most people operate from a place of fear and make most of their lives decision based on fear or what will or won’t happen. I don’t live my life that way and most people can’t relate. I strongly dislike unsolicited advice. That’s a boundary and when someone hops in my DMs with a list of things I need to try to help solve this or that, I quickly let them know that I didn’t ask for this information even though I’m sure it comes from a place of love and if they could kindly refrain from sending unsolicited advice. I have over 100K followers and receive so much unsolicited advice, it gets to be too much for one person to consume. It’s very overwhelming and if someone does it too frequently I will block them. When you live your life on social media those who follow you will sometimes feel entitled to know everything about you and that you owe them that. If I even get the sense that someone feels this way, refer to Tip 2. Don’t be afraid of letting your boundaries be known and of monitoring your comments. I never want my social media comments to be a place where people come to get tea and gossip and anything else petty and baseless.
Take a Social Media Break Every Now & Then. As someone who’s full time job is social media and content creation, I sometimes feel the need to always be on social media. I need to be posting and creating content and engaging with comments all the time. There is never really any down time unless I’m sleeping. It’s a 24 hour a day gig. But it can all be too much sometimes and I’ve found myself stepping away from social media when I need to regroup and recharge or just to be re-inspired to create. I’ve limited the amount of time I spend on social media and the amount of days I will actually do a few Instastories. Of course sometimes I have a FOMO and know that Instagram will hate me when it’s time to post and not show my content but I’ve eased that burden by not depending so much on social media for work. That’s really helped relieve some of the anxiety I experience when I take breaks from Instagram in particular. It’s also just good for your soul not being bombarded with images and words that may not be contributing to you growing or leveling up. We subconsciously soak all of those things in whether we want to or not. It’s very necessary to take breaks and it’s ok to not even announce it. You don’t owe anyone anything and your sanity and peace should be your number 1 priority. So if social media is making you feel bad in any way shape or form, log off.
Stop worrying about the algorithm and post what you want when you want.
I was definitely one of the people who used to follow a formula when posting my content. I’d make sure I was posting at certain times and posted what got the most likes and engagement (for me that’s straight fashion content that features me in the photo). Eventually, I just stopped caring. And Yes, I do this for a living. There is no way to beat the algorithm. Instagram will do what it wants regarding showing your posts. I post what I want, when I want (or when I remember LOL). I find that the less structured you are with your posting and content the better off you will be. I started posting more home decor content and wouldn’t have ever thought people would be more interested in that than fashion! But they both do equally well. I started incorporating more reels that showed my personality. Step outside the box and worry a little less about who’s gonna see it and how it’s going to do.
Don’t take it so seriously, social media is just the highlights and rarely the lows and in betweens.
Take everything you see on social media with a grain of salt because its mostly a place where highlights of life are shared. The minutia of life is rarely entertaining. So keeping that in mind, never let it make you feel bad or depressed about where you are in your life. Social Media and the people you follow or subscribe to should inspire you and motivate you. You can always tailor who you follow and who you watch so that you see the things you want to see. I follow people who inspire me whether that’s home decor, beauty or fashion. I follow people who motivate me to level up and be the best business woman I can be. I follow people that when I see them winning, it’s an affirmation that I can win too. Those are the types of people you should be seeing in your feed and if someone elses wins make you feel bad then refer to tip 4 because those feeling are coming from within and that may be something you need to work out within yourself before participating in social media. But you never know what’s going on behind the smiling photos or the luxury unboxing videos. Every person on this earth has bad times, that’s just a part of living. Don’t forget that all these people are human just like you and are not exempt from the struggles of life.
Petal & Pup Dress (Size 6) | Cult Gaia Sandals (True to Size)| It’s All Culture Statement Earrings (Black Owned) | Gucci Sunglasses | Colorpop Limbo Lipstain | Louis Vuitton Bag
SHOP THE OUTFIT
And last but certainly not least, your body is yours and what you do or don’t do to it is your business and not up for debate.
Social media is a place where people want authenticity and in the same breath demand you get braces. Social media is a place where people want you to do well but not more well off than them, because then you’re showing off. Social media can be a funny place and I tend to have a mostly love and sometimes hate relationship with it, or rather the people who don’t have any etiquette on it. I’ve been told more times than I can count what I SHOULD do to my body and with my body from complete strangers who won’t even post a profile photo. The audacity. You don’t have to be perfect. Sure people love to push perfection onto unassuming human beings but you are fine the way you are. I don’t plan on getting veneers, a new ass or anything else anytime soon just because some stranger on the internet told me I should. No one has that kind of power in my life accept me. But social media can and has made a lot of people particularly women buckle under the pressure of body critiques and being picture perfect. Stay true to you and don’t allow strangers or anyone for that matter have that kind of power over you and your person. I like that I don’t look like everyone else. That I’m not typical. It makes me me and that’s more relatable than a picture perfect version of me that I won’t even recognize. I mean look how far I’ve come, moving through life just the way I am. Whew…the audacity of being unapologetically me.
Thanks for reading.
SHOP PITCH TEMPLATES TO WORK WITH BRANDS AND LEVEL UP YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA
I really appreciate your comments. I think more influencers need to take a page from your book. The audacity of you to want to live a great life and do the work to accomplish it while others sit back, and jealous your accomplishments, and wish they were walking in your shoes-the audacity of it all!
Amen divine lady! I happen to think that your smile is one of the most gorgeous things about you and did you know it’s really special? Trust me, I asked google haha
‘Such people are likely to be intelligent and creative. They have a habit of making it big in life…’
(Read more at: https://www.onmanorama.com/lifestyle/astro/2018/07/12/teeth-gap-astrological-benefits.html)
It’s astounding to to me that some people feel the need to try to bring others down. I feel sad for them.
Thank you for reminding us all how powerful it is to walk in our authentic selves. I adore following you and so glad I’m now discovering your blog, so helpful and inspiring. All my blessings to you. Love Faye x
I don’t know how but I need to save this post for future reference. I’ll be entering into a new venture & I already know I’ll be needing this healthy dose of reminder that I’m alright in the skin I’m in. Thanks for sharing Monroe!
Great post! Social media has given alot if people this sense of freedom to dump all their opinions and stuff on another. I enjoy your content because you’re yourself and it makes me think, hey I can achieve that or similar.
Loved this. Every word. Thank you for sharing your gift of prose (and fashion ) with the world. You’ve given me a lot of inspiration and confidence over the past year. I found you at the beginning of the pandemic. I’m currently in a career that stresses me out and desire a change all together. Watching your transition from physical therapist to living your dreams helps me believe I can do it too (even at 40)! I haven’t blogged in 5 years, but tonight I’m dusting off the cobwebs of my site letting the words flow. Keep doing what you do! It’s why I watch your ads and will continue to support YOU and your content. Be blessed, keep slaying.
Great read and so true and I mentally block family, friend’s , and especially co-workers who want me to live my life their way .
Kudos to you Monroe. Continue to be authentic and protect your peace. You will always be my favourite influencer because of your unabashed realness.
Amen sister. Ain’t nobody’s business. ❤
I totally loved this article, thanks for the honesty and just realness of it all. I have been getting back to me and just loving discovering things about me that I never would have, had I not taken some time away from social media, societies requirements, and the vampires of this world. I’m seriously happy and excited for you and I love watching and reading your content. It inspires me. Keep it coming
Love your outfit. Love your content. Love the subject matter.
I gave up Twitter, Insta, and FB back in January 2021, and I regret nothing. Since letting go of most of my social media accounts, I feel more in control of what I allow to take up space in my life. And I feel more connected with the folks who are truly in my life, not those peeking through the window.
I truly don’t miss it. However, I do recognize that you and other influencers that I love post way more on Insta than YT and other places, but it is a price I am willing to pay to have peace of mind.
With that said, I love getting email notifications of your blog posts and I am always there for your YT videos.
Keep doing you Monroe I love your content !!!!
That last line was my favorite, but yes, social media has become a wild place and it’s so important to have a strong sense of self when you show up because otherwise the internet will have you all sorts of miserable.
Absolutely powerful and sound words. Social media is like money … it can be a tool for good and bad and knowing how to navigate it in a healthy way is vital.
I have a small social media “ footprint” and even I see value in what you say here . For me … it’s managing family and fringe friends who feel they can cross boundaries , ask questions , or use it try to get me to give them info on my family .
It used to amaze me .. now just annoys me ! Lol
If I wouldn’t pick up the phone to discuss anything with you why would I discuss it via this medium ?
Great Blog post . Thanks for sharing .
This post (and beautiful photos!) made me smile ear to ear. I’m so glad there are women like you in this world.
Girl, this whole post is truly A WORD! I needed all of this wisdom. Thanks for sharing
Great article! The audacity of authenticity is amazingly awesome!
I came on the site looking for the intermix code but found this article instead.
Thank you for this, while I am pretty sure I am older than you. You are inspiration!
You are also correct our lives are for us to live alone. You inspire me with your beauty, brains and boldness. Since you have documented yourself moving to Miami I find myself (along with my partner, I make him watch, lol) becoming more bolder in my life decision. I also find myself being more aggressive with my earning potential.
You are amazing and I wish you the best. Stay stuntin’ on these hoes, respectfully!
The last paragraph is strong and succinct. I recently published a similar blog post, and yes on establishing boundaries. onhttps://gracealexfashionblog.com/2021/04/you-are-more-than-what-you-do-styling-polka-dot/
This is everything! Most “influencers”, whom are really everyday people need to hear this. This quest for perfection is depleting all hue-mans of authenticity and true love. I do understand the years of self hate or periods of self doubt due to the lies told to particularly Black people, but we must know who we are, where we come from (ancestral) and who we are capable of being. Once we understand we are supreme beings, then we will have true self acceptance. You are proof of knowing your value.