I’m Christian, He’s Muslim and he moved in right before Ramadan

A few years ago after getting out of an unhealthy relationship, I was out celebrating my birthday and a very cute waiter gave me his number on a napkin. I thought, what the hell, I’m in the mood for a little fun and I obliged when after chatting for a week he finally asked me on a date. He was 6 years my junior, Algerian and very cute. On that first date we kissed so much my lips were sore and swollen the next day. From that first date we were inseparable. I knew he was happy when he would sing in the morning in the shower. He’d sing to me in French, Arabic and Berber. We were very much in love. We were that couple aggressively making out on the train that people hate. He even met my mom and I met his family as well although it was through Skype. I always sensed they didn’t approve. I wasn’t muslim and I was much older than him.

Religion never really came up much until the decision was made that he’d move in temporarily. As it often happens in New York, his apartment building had been plagued with a bad case of bedbugs. They are a real thing here in New York City, not just a myth (here are some things you should know about New York City before moving here). I actually didn’t know bed bugs were real until moving to New York and out of all the New York critters from rats to roaches, bed bugs scare me the most. They are disgusting and they are a very expensive problem to have. Which is why I avoid sidewalk furniture like the plague allowing 5 paces between me and thrown out pieces especially mattresses. Anywho, there was no way on Gods green earth I was gonna let my boyfriend go back and forth between his place and mine. So he moved in until his place was fumigated.

It is believed that the Quran (a guidance for mankind) was first revealed to Muhammad during the month of Ramadan. This is why the fasting takes place during this month to be thankful for that guidance.

This book about pigs found it’s way onto my bookshelf. I can’t remember the name of it but it was like a children’s book. Out of curiosity I read it and afterward couldn’t bring myself to eat pork again. I suspect that was his plan all along. He was living with me so out of courtesy I didn’t bring pork into the house. I rarely ate pork anyway so it wasn’t a big deal. Anytime I smelled bacon during those months though I’d gag. I still don’t like the smell of bacon but it’s still delicious. About a year after we broke up I started eating pork again. I also started cooking everything with cumin and I mean everything and I took a huge liking to dates (the fruit). He started referencing moving back to Algeria more frequently and taking me with him. Like, me, moving into the mountains of Algeria into a family compound. I told him I‘d visit but I could never move to Algeria. It just wasn’t for me.
And then there was Ramadan. This tested the relationship in ways I’ve never been tested in any relationship in my life. Ramadan is observed by Muslims and consist of a month of fasting from dawn until sunset. We had a calendar with the exact times of Dawn and Sunset so we knew exactly when he could eat. He’d wake up before dawn and consume whatever we had in the kitchen. Scarfing it down. He’d also give me my pre-dawn kiss. This was the only intimacy we shared during that month. Then he’d go to work all day and come home very agitated. I would always try to make something familiar for dinner for him and sometimes if it wasn’t ready the moment he walked through the door, I felt so guilty and he was often very angry. I knew it was the hunger and the full days work he’d just put in but it was not a good time in our relationship.

Photography by Rose Lazard || Edited by Monroe Steele

Tibi Top || Vintage Skirt Get Similar Here || Tibi Mules || Indigo Pony Earrings || Gucci Bag via Bag Borrow or Steal

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I’m surprised we made it through that time. But we did and we were closer because of it. What I learned from that time is that I am a true Taurus Woman (devoted to the core when in love). It also taught me patience and compassion. One of my favorite bloggers Meryem reminded me via her Instastories to show a little patience during this time and really anytime because you never know what someone’s going through. My ex and I are no longer together but I learned a lot from him, including all the best arabic curse words. Since it’s now Ramadan (which prompted me to write this post), I know how difficult this time can be for anyone fasting so Ramadan Mubarak.

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xx

Monroe

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20 Comments

  1. Michsi
    May 22, 2018 / 8:43 am

    You really have to have patience when your partner is Muslim. Last Ramadan was good for both of us. Im Christian too but supporting him making sure he had food in the morning/night brought us closer. By the end, we celebrated EID and that’s the tradition we have now. Even thought tough times Ramadan is off limits when it comes to issues. I’m irritated after one hour of being hungry. I couldn’t imagine after sometimes 18 hours of no food or water.

    • monroesteele
      Author
      May 22, 2018 / 9:10 am

      You are so right. Patience was definitely something I learned during this relationship. I think thats a great way to look at Ramadan as well that any issues can be brought up afterwards lol. I feel the same way that it brought us closer together. Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment.

      xx
      Monroe

  2. Faith
    May 22, 2018 / 8:50 am

    Wow, such a unique post. Enjoyed reading this. Loving your look too!

    • monroesteele
      Author
      May 22, 2018 / 9:10 am

      Thanks for reading Faith. Though I’d do something a little different.

      xx
      Monroe

  3. May 22, 2018 / 9:45 am

    Great post! Thanks for sharing! I’m Muslim myself and am currently observing Ramadan. It’s always so interesting to see how non-Muslims have experienced Ramadan amongst a Muslim partner. I know it definitely wasn’t easy. Good on you for your patience. 🙂

    • monroesteele
      Author
      May 22, 2018 / 10:15 am

      Thank you and Ramadan Mubarak!

      xx
      Monroe

  4. May 22, 2018 / 9:57 am

    I’m not Muslim, but I am Christian and I just came off of the Daniel fast last week. It was my first time actually fasting on my own accord, so I understand the frustration, lol. This was such a great story! Thanks for sharing more of YOU with your readers!

    • monroesteele
      Author
      May 22, 2018 / 10:14 am

      Yeah, I can only imagine fasting for a month for almost a full day everyday. Thank you for reading.

      xx
      Monroe

  5. May 22, 2018 / 10:27 am

    As always great read girl, you inspire me to start writing again, I just need to find the time. I am true Taurus woman too so I can relate. Thanks for the message too. I ain’t fasting but the message is universal. Great styling, love the colours, the background and the pose. Your dedication to your blog is inspirational

    • monroesteele
      Author
      May 22, 2018 / 12:31 pm

      Taurus’s are the best LOL. Thank you for reading and I’m so happy you’re inspired! Do it!

      xx
      Monroe

  6. May 22, 2018 / 11:30 am

    Such an interesting post, I enjoyed reading it so much.

    Patience and understanding is very needed when dealing with people or situations different from what is familiar to us..

    x.

    • monroesteele
      Author
      May 22, 2018 / 12:30 pm

      you’re absolutely right patience and understanding is key!

      xx
      Monroe

  7. May 22, 2018 / 12:09 pm

    I really loved reading about your personal experience with Ramadan. We are muslims and are currently observing Ramadan. I love how open minded and patient you were. It’s always so interesting to see how everyone deals with the challenges of Ramadan, the struggles we go through seem to bring us closer as human beings. It’s truly a month of challenges and reflecting and getting to really know yourself. Great post!

    xoxo,
    The Yusufs
    theyusufs.com

    • monroesteele
      Author
      May 22, 2018 / 12:30 pm

      First of all I am GEEKING because I love you two! Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment.

      xx
      Monroe

  8. Vana
    May 23, 2018 / 7:22 pm

    Great read and good to know!

    • monroesteele
      Author
      May 24, 2018 / 9:04 pm

      Haha, Thanks Vana!

      xx
      Monroe

  9. Shakyra
    May 27, 2018 / 10:42 am

    Omg did I need this today!
    My hubby is Muslim (I am not) and Ramadan is still a challenging time after 4 years of Marriage
    Thanks for sharing

    • monroesteele
      Author
      May 29, 2018 / 10:26 am

      I can only imagine! Thank you for reading!

      xx
      Monroe

  10. June 4, 2018 / 4:11 am

    Thanks for your post, enjoyed reading this. You are looked so cute.

    • monroesteele
      Author
      June 4, 2018 / 9:34 am

      Thanks so much for reading! I’m glad you enjoyed it.

      xx
      Monroe

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