Just Do It; Go ahead and Cry at Work

I’m not sure if it’s because Mercury is in retrograde or because my period started last Monday with cramps that made me double over; but last week was sent straight from hell. I was just so stressed out and every few minutes I could literally see the work piling up in front of me. I was drowning in work with no end in sight and no actual time to do it all. I felt incredibly overwhelmed and considered walking out of my office and never returning. Then it happened, a rogue tear that I’d been fighting back with every ounce of my being slid down my cheek with lightening speed. I quickly closed my office door. I couldn’t control them. One after another they took turns sliding down mixing with my precious Estée Lauder and splattering on my khaki colored pants. I succumbed to feeling utterly overwhelmed and I silently wept at work for 3 minutes. Then I went to the bathroom to clean myself up. I looked myself in the mirror and sternly said: Self get your shit together. You’ve got 4 hours left and you’re outta this joint. And then, just like that, I was fine. I went out and continued treating patients until my shift ended and I treated myself to an uber home (mainly to avoid people and get home as quickly as possible). I just hope the driver didn’t feel weird as my eyes welled up the 2-3 times they did on the 10 minute drive home.

I can count how many times I’ve cried at work on one hand. I was always told it’s something you should never do especially being a woman. You’ll be seen as weak and emotionally unstable, mostly by men. With women climbing professional ladders and entering professional spaces typically reserved for men, we are taught to be less emotional, less vocal and less feminine to be on a level playing field with our male counterparts. I call bullshit on that. I think women should be women and be the vast complex beings we are with feelings and emotions. You know what they say, behind every great man is a woman telling him what to do. I’ll bet my life that woman has cried at work.
I wanted to know just how many women have done this taboo deed at work and took a quick poll on Instastories. The results shocked me. I am not alone. 90% of women and a few men, who took the poll admitted to crying at work. I believe a quick little cry can sometimes be therapeutic. I usually don’t do it in front of anyone as to not make anyone uncomfortable but I do it when necessary. There was that time I broke up with my ex on a Tuesday and cried my way through work sporadically in the bathroom all day Wednesday. Then there was the time I found out my dog died and I openly wept in front of my boss and all my coworkers. That was not a good day for me.

Photography by Rose Lazard; Editing by Monroe Steele

Nike Sports Bra | & Other Stories Denim | H&M Jacket | Ray Ban Sunglasses | Vince Camuto Mules (they come in white too) | Nars Mysterious Red Velvet Lip Pencil

GET THE LOOK


I think my whole point for writing this is to really try to destigmatize shedding a few tears at work. We are women, we are complex and sometimes the stressors of the world seep out of the little ducts in the corner of our eyes. That doesn’t make us any less capable, or any less… anything. So stop feeling shame (which is what a few commenters reported they felt) after having a good cry at work. Crying is natural and human. One should never feel any shame attached to crying. It’s something we were meant to do. That’s what tear ducts are for! You know what they say, if you don’t use it, you lose it. Exercise those eye muscles. I can almost guarantee after a good cry, you will still be able to get your shit together and conquer whatever task awaits you. For me, that was finally speaking with my supervisor about my increasing workload and my desire to work less and get a raise. These are things I’d shoved into a box in my mind for months not daring to speak on them until I reached this breaking point. Would you believe I’m getting a raise and moving towards working one less day?

I should cry at work more often.

xx

Monroe

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22 Comments

  1. Faith
    April 2, 2018 / 8:10 am

    Ha, maybe I should cry at work too! 😉

    But in all seriousness, I’ve def. cried at work a few times. And I’ve always felt a whole lot better. Sometimes, you just got to let it all out and oftentimes that involves tears.

    • monroesteele
      April 2, 2018 / 9:48 am

      Agreed! Thanks for reading.

      xx
      Monroe

  2. April 2, 2018 / 11:33 am

    Haaa! Glad things are looking up at work. This look is amazing, wish I could pull of such wide pants but my thighs won’t let me be great, lol

    • monroesteele
      April 2, 2018 / 11:55 am

      LOL. Thank you so much for reading. I’m ecstatic about the possibilities of more free time. These are definitely my new favorite jeans. I have wider thighs as well which is why these jeans work so well for me.

      xx
      Monroe

  3. April 2, 2018 / 6:44 pm

    crying is very cathartic, and the way you handled the situation is the best way. You find a corner shed your tears, then wipe them and continue pushing through.

    • monroesteele
      April 2, 2018 / 10:11 pm

      Agreed. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment.

      xx
      Monroe

  4. Melissa
    April 2, 2018 / 9:45 pm

    Monroe oh how I needed this post… last week was horrible for me as well. I was so angry after a video conference with all the HR admin’s across the division and was so angry after I too saw my workload had increased significantly. I stormed out of that meeting upset etc. when I get really mad I usually cry as well but this time I wrote out a prayer asking god to give me the strength to not walk out of this job. I read it over and over until I could really believe every word I was typing. After that Horrible work day I decided to cook a nice meal and grab a bottle of wine. I say all that to say everyday won’t be perfect and that’s ok. We’ll get through it. Congrats on your raise and that extra day off dear:) this post will forever be saved in my file. For those not so good days.

    • monroesteele
      April 2, 2018 / 10:11 pm

      Thanks Melissa for reading. I think that was a great idea. I’ll definitely try that net time. Hope things get better love.

      xx
      Monroe

  5. April 3, 2018 / 4:22 am

    One of the most inspiring articles I’ve read. You’re right. It’s normal to cry, it’s human. Being professional doesn’t mean not being human. We are not robots and dealing with our emotions instead of suppressing them makes us better people and ultimately better employers. Compliments on your raise and on mature way you have dealt with your situation. You’re inspiring….and I do love this outfit.

    • monroesteele
      April 3, 2018 / 7:45 pm

      Thank you so much Ivana! I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. You are exactly right we are still human even in professional settings. I totally agree that it makes us better employees.

      xx
      Monroe

  6. Jenee
    April 3, 2018 / 7:19 pm

    Love this post lady! I too have had the silent cry in my office and I live to fight another day. Sometimes you need to release and crying does just that! Glad things are looking up

    • monroesteele
      April 3, 2018 / 7:47 pm

      Thank you Jenee! Girl it can be a little rough sometimes but I’m really happy with where I am now. Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. I appreciate you.

      xx
      Monroe

  7. Wendy Arsad
    April 3, 2018 / 8:30 pm

    Nothing like a good cry! Yours was needed and your issues were address, #winning. I do enjoy your Instagram post. Keep inspiring! I you!

    • monroesteele
      April 3, 2018 / 8:48 pm

      Right! Thanks so much Wendy! I appreciate the love.

      xx
      Monroe

  8. April 4, 2018 / 11:19 am

    I have not cried in a few years at work. I had a huge relationship fail 3000 miles away and it was so overwhelming. I had to work I wasn’t going to let a person take my productive ways away. If I didn’t have help I don’t know what I would have done. God put people in the correct places at the correct times. We are human, its an emotion, both woman and men have. Why aren’t we using this emotion? Society……. I have nothing nice to say. In other news, I’m so glad that you did and you are speaking about it. Love your blog cant wait to read your next post.

    • monroesteele
      April 4, 2018 / 11:27 am

      Hi Jen,
      Thank you so much for reading! You’re so right, society can really impose some brutal constraints even on things that are normal.

      x
      Monroe

  9. Vava
    April 4, 2018 / 12:42 pm

    I was at my previous job for 7 years and the last two years every single day, seconds, minutes, hours was hell. one day we had a meeting with the big bosses and all our department team members and I lost it. Nothing could hold back the tears, and the frustrations I’ve held in for so long. I was beyond overwhelmed and just miserable. what i realized after that my director really appreciated that and it really helped them to take a look at the department and made some major changes. Sometimes we just have too. I hope to never let a job make me break down like that Ever again, but i felt good when i did it. I did end up leaving otherwise i would have to cry every single day. LOL

    • monroesteele
      April 4, 2018 / 2:37 pm

      Wow thats really intense. I’m glad you got outta there.

      xx
      Monroe

  10. Dominique
    April 4, 2018 / 2:10 pm

    This is by far my favorite post since I have been following you!
    First of all CONGRATULATIONS on gettting your raise and an extra day off more great articles for us.
    I cry the moment I get angry reason why I developed a new persona for the work Place: one that does not care AT ALL.
    I just refuse to waste my tears at that place and only The Lord knows how I have been able to do so.
    I usually cry at night while praying and get there the following day like I own the damn company

    Thank you for a great post!

    • monroesteele
      April 4, 2018 / 2:36 pm

      Haha..thanks Dominique for reading and commenting. And yes to that bounce back!

      xx
      Monroe

  11. April 14, 2018 / 4:52 pm

    I’ve cried at work before. Hell, even called out to prevent from losing my mind there. Sometimes you just need that time to release because we’re human and not machines. We can only deal with so much until it becomes too real in the worst places. But hey, what do you do? ‍♀️ Cry loud and hard and then smile in 5-10 minutes, lol

    • monroesteele
      April 14, 2018 / 9:30 pm

      Right! Thanks so much for commenting. Lets me know I’m not alone. But things have definitely gotten better.

      xx
      Monroe

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